Wednesday, April 11, 20075:59:00 PM
To: All Students!
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity
from students, it will be our policy to keep all students
well taught
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone
else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
course, please
see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top
of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at
seeing that you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Students who don't take their S.H.I.T ......... will be
placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS
(D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have
to go to
EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I..T.). Since our
lecturers took
S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do
S.H.I.T. anymore,
and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
teaching
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING
LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
For students who are intending to pursue a career in
management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION ( M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
emphasizes how to
manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD
OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
H.O.T. S.H.I.T .).
Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
Thank You for your time.
Sincerely,
The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High
Intensity Teaching
(The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T .)
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