Friday, August 29, 20087:40:00 PM
It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most
vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite
the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun
like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my
pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I
scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.
i love this para.. it's from new moon.. i dono why i love it.. it just made me feel stronger.. i tink new moon reli gonna make me emo.. cause.. edward and bella got separated in the starting.. hmm.. im still reading it though.. i tink i can understand how bella felt.. but she was much worse than me.. i guess.. edward.. just make her a vampire.. then happi ending le..
how i wish this book was true..
cause i wan to be a vampire too..
2:42:00 PM
Because you loved me - Celine Dion
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
im a dumb idiot.. i didn treasure you.. im a dumb idiot..i reli am..
2:13:00 PM
today was TEACHER'S DAY.. lols.. i came to school early.. lols.. and collected 32$ haha.. yupps.. then i pass it to ms farah.. then she keep lor.. then we got morning assembly as usual.. then got zao cao.. i cant do shang ti.. cause my right calf ytd night got cramp.. now still pain.. haha.. so i was totally relying on my left one.. haha.. haii..
after that the upper sec students came in.. then we sit back.. then the CELEBRATIONS begin.. lols.. the teacher had to walk in together.. lols.. kindda weird.. hmm.. dono la.. then yupps.. then then the concert band was first to play.. boths songs were nice.. even though some parts sounded out.. hmm.. yupps.. then then i forgot le.. but i noe.. the sing-a-long thing.. was the worst part of all.. why did they have to choose those songs.. why did they have to sing it now.. haii.. i just felt like getting out of there.. but i didn't want to move.. haii..
i was crying.. haii.. i cried in the hall omg.. haii.. but was just a little bit onli.. i was fighting back my tears.. i cant cry in hall.. in front of people.. haii.. then yijing go tell desmond then.. shenghui came to sit beside me.. haha.. he say dr wee here again.. then kip sayin don cry la.. lol.. i also noe don cry.. but i cnt rite.. just when i stopped le.. they go play 'because you loved me'.. i was like holy shit.. omg.. then i cried more.. haii.. i was thinking alot of emo stuffs.. im still not strong enuff..
i miss him.. reli.. more than usual.. and im scared too.. im reli scared.. this feeling is so gettin me out of control.. i was fighting with myself in a way.. i could have done things today.. but i resisted.. number one.. i don't know what his reaction would be.. number two.. im scared of the consequences.. i was waiting for the perfect chance.. that i could do.. the whole day i was waiting.. but i didn't have a chance.. i cried while in the lift.. im reli not strong yet.. haii.. then i sat at those steps.. crying.. thinking.. emoing.. i decided to stop crying.. no point imagin.. i'll have to wait.. for long time.. and im willing to.. haha.. i dont know why i behaving this way.. the fear is still thr.. haii..
we were close today.. and i reli wanted to do it(now now don imagine wrong things)..
i had to stop.. so i emo thr lor.. if thats wat u people were wondering..
i was sort of afraid..
the fear that you will one day leave me..the fear that you will not love me anymore..the fear that you will no longer be there.. the fear that you will be out of my life..i was fearing all that.. guess that's why i was over reacting.. those fears were scary.. even death didn't feel as scary as those.. you just mean too much to me..
