Friday, August 1, 200810:10:00 PM
imiss you alot.. T.T
7:36:00 PM
i feel so out of place. only with him i feel just right. but i know we cannot be 24/7 together.. haii.. tomorrow i think i will feel bloody extra after the run.. wait, i won't feel bloody extra.. i am bloody extra.. haii.. i don't know if i should go la. even if i don't go. i also don't know what to do after the run. i'm such a loner. i'm so confused. i have the urge to.. bite.. i'm sorry.. but i really have no other way.. please forgive me.. i can't stop already.. some one please help me.. i'm going to cry soon.. nevermind.. no one can help..
i'm so dumb..
i'm so stupid..
i'm so selfish..
i'm so paranoid..
i'm so jealous..
i'm so emo..
i'm so angry..
all these emotions are in me..
how i would love to break free..
i wish some one could just sit with me..
watch me cry my heart out
and not make a sound..
i wish some one could comfort me..
tell me eveything's gonna be alright
and promise me they'll be by my side
always and forever be there for me..
i wish that they'll put aside what they're doing
and just hear me out..
i really need you can't you even guess it?
okay. i was too over emo.. haii.. i'm crying as i write this.. something's really wrong with me.. i think i having depression.. i don't know la.. but this is worse than my last time emo and it all started cause of some stupid thing.. why am i so suey this week.. haii.. i wish everything could be back to normal.. but things change for a reason.. i wonder what reason could there be?
3:12:00 PM
have been emo-ing on and off in school.. then i keep biting myself.. during pe was emo but i vent it on playing basketball. haha. still in school though.. having cca. apparently no one is doing flash cause no one catches what the teacher is talking about. haha. mary went for her sc thing liao. so lonely. haii..
during pe something funny happened la. i throw the ball then was an air ball la. lols. then it went ouside the gate thingy. then roll roll roll on the grass. then i pick up de time, got this insect stuff on it. i bounce it on the ground to kill it and get it off then i cannot.. then i look closer IT LOOKED FREAKING DISGUSTING CAUS IT WAS BLACK AND WHITE WITH LOTS OF LEGS THINGY AND GOT ITS 'PINCERS' STUCK ON THE BASKETBALL.. DAMN DISGUSTING.. then i sort of scream and threw the ball away.. then i complain to yijing.. haha.. then she say i sot diao.. then try getting it off with a stick.. but cannot come out lor.. IT'S LIKE GLUED THERE LA.. haii.. after that i suggested to challenge yijing see who can score more.. at first winning 2-0 de.. then yijing catch up.. in the end is 7-8 i lost.. BOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO.. sob sob..
during recess wanted to eat but cannot la. didn't bring money down and no appetite even though damn hungry.. then i borrowed money from jing to buy hello panda. when i open de time. everything flew out.. then alot people was like staring.. haha and i was laughing alot alot alot..
now i feeling damn bored and damn sadded.. haii.. i'm thinking too much again.. mary is like sooooo right i'm sot already.. i toooooooooooooooo possessive? maybe i also don't know what word la.. but i know i tooooooooo over liao.. haii.. sorry..
sorry..
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okay.. i think i should say more but i don't want to be too over.. haii.. now got break.. i go ler..
buaiibuaii XD
